INCREASING SOCIALLY
DID JESUS HAVE FRIENDS, AS IN REAL FRIENDS
?
AND IN THE MIDDLE OF MINISTRY WITH ME “BEING FRIENDLY TO ALL”, DO I EVEN NEED FRIENDS?
“While we are friendly to those we serve, are we developing and nourishing friendships?”
Have you ever heard the saying, “good friends are hard to find because the best ones are already mine?” No? Okay, maybe I made it up, but it sounds like a great caption for Instagram. For our students it may be a simple, “Squad Goals” with a few cute emojis! No matter how you creatively “caption” the people closest to you, friendship is a God-given gift. In middle and high school, friendships were our number one priority, but now, they are too easily put on the “backburner,” as adult responsibilities pile up. Maybe this is why I love student ministry so much. Our teenagers remind me to be intentional about laughing, praying, and creating memories with the circle of godly women with whom I am blessed. Friendship is casually formed but intentionally furthered. We are good at being sociable acquaintances but not quite as good at being available friends. While we are friendly to those we serve, are we developing and nourishing friendships?
As we recap this Luke 2:52 blog series, we have looked into the life of Christ, finding both encouragement and application.
We began with the challenge to grow in wisdom and understanding of who God is, through the study of Scripture and time in prayer. Healthy physical habits and lifestyle decisions were encouraged in blog #2 because we do our best when we feel our best. Blog #3 reminded us of the beauty in spending uninterrupted time with the Father, just as Christ demonstrated on multiple occasions. In our last blog in this series, we navigate community and companionship by learning from THE perfect Friend, Jesus Christ. Just as Christ was intentional about growing in wisdom, wellness, and faithfulness, He was intentional about growing in relationships.
Three Needed Friendship Elements
Over the years, I have enjoyed some really awesome friendships and have been hurt by some not-so-great ones. What makes the difference? The consistent markings of healthy friendship can be summarized in three central elements.
Honesty in conversation (Proverbs 16:28)
Serving in love (John 15:13)
Forgiving in shortcomings (Ephesians 4:32)
Honesty in Conversation
Honesty in friendship can manifest itself in many ways. First, it may mean that in order for true friendship to form, vulnerable conversations will take place. I am not suggesting that sharing your deepest, darkest secrets is what makes you a valuable friend. However, inviting trusted people into our “hard” may provide space for prayer and support to cover you in ways like never before.
Second, honesty in friendship is a commitment to avoid gossip at all costs. It is all too easy to share someone else’s information. Why we do it, I am unsure. Being intentional about avoiding the trap is key.
Third, speak life over the ministries, families, and callings of your friends. Do this when you are across from them at coffee AND when they are nowhere in sight.
Serving in Love
Serving one another in love is to do as Christ did for us. Though we did nothing to merit the grace of God, He sent His one and only Son to pay the ultimate penalty for our sin by dying on a cross. There is no greater love than that of our Savior, Jesus. He did for you and me what we could never do for ourselves. Because of His sacrificial love, we have the hope of eternity in heaven and overwhelming peace while on earth. Before the cross, Christ demonstrated friendship with His twelve apostles, three specific and closest apostles, the beloved family in Bethany (Martha, Mary, Lazarus), His followers, His enemies, the bystanders around Him, and many more. Jesus was a friend to all and is the greatest Companion we will know.
Practically, serving others goes beyond the sphere of our specific friendships. Each area is not limited to those we are closest with. Putting them into action within all settings will prove to be a blessing for even the strangers around you. However, for the sake of intentionally furthering our God-given friendships, acts of service will mean everything.
When is the last time you wrote or received one of these? In our world of texting and social media posts, these can provide more value now more than ever!
In addition to writing notes, pray for those running the race. Whether serving in ministry settings or within a secular environment, our friends need our consistent and specific prayers. Finally, thank the Lord for this in your life. Just as Paul opened his letter to the church at Philippi with the words, “I thank my God every time I think of you,” may we praise God for those He has brought into our lives. May we remember to tangibly serve them but even more so spiritually. This is serving the whole person, just like our Scripture shares of Christ in Luke 2:52!
Forgiving in Shortcomings
Being a forgiving friend will mean that the expectation of perfection ceases to exist. Author and speaker, Lysa Terkhurst said it this way, “What a lovely gift to give a friend to never expect her to be perfect.” In our humanity, we WILL mess up. The need for personal forgiveness and provided forgiveness is guaranteed when doing life with others. Get comfortable with saying “I am sorry” and be ready to humbly accept an apology from a friend. Forgiveness is perfectly demonstrated in the new mercy of Christ that daily covers us. Pride will attempt to sneak in and steal all the good within our relationships. Recognize it and replace it with a “70 x 7” mindset.
Real Talk
You may have reached the end of this blog more discouraged, and possibly lonelier than you desire. Possibly relationships have changed, and it may feel like true friendships are few and far between. You may be thinking, “This is great, Annie, but I'm not even sure of who I have any more.” Our new ministry position has put us in a seemingly ‘isolated’ season, and it has been extremely hard to build true friendships.” I hear you. My prayer is that God brings an unbeatable community into your life at the perfect time. I pray that you will be encouraged, knowing that Christ IS your greatest companion. His love is better than life, and His nearness is unmatched. Sometimes, it will take a fresh perspective to recognize that there ARE wonderful people around us, but our “too busy vision” often slows us from purposefully moving past acquaintances to available friends.
Be Encouraged,
-AB
